LOVE RECOVERY
As a brokenhearted girl , whose goes through many struggles in being with wrong person. And typically i end up miserable with the same scenario and the catastrophic end.
However the bright side is i am more wiser than ever and i understand that those men i date are just not meant to be with me .
This article is a confession to myself first and to the world .
I started dating since a young age , i was always search for the right partner which will make life easier . I get to know different types of men , different ages and different stories with each one of them . what i didn't realise is that i am always acting the same way with all of them i try to impose myself and to slightly switch them .
As a girl who never felt the love and security from her first man , her father , i systemically look for it in men i dated . i have always searched for older men than me . And i was very picky in choosing . I looked for men who seems to be independent and self secure . the opposite of me .
So in my dating journey i was a love addict . I simply passionately and stupidly lose myself in love. Hoping that this man will be the one and denying the voices in my head that he is not . i figured that being with someone is all about giving and taking , and i was always the one who give . i try too much to make it work , i care too much , and i loved too much .
At some point my behaviour threatened my partner. Maybe the way i expose myself and just being me while the rest of the world pretending . In this fake world it is difficult to be you and to be true .
Each time it end up bad . And leave scars in me.which i will always preserve.And like after every bleeding it need time and treatment to recover .
My recovery treatment take years and i am still working on it . which make me believe that i am worthy and strong enough to heal my own wounds .
My five recovery steps :
- Deal with your own sorrow : it is frightening to feel your disordered heartbeats , to listen to the ache of our own soul , to sleep with a tear in your cheek and just hopelessly try to sleep away with all that heavy sadness . i have been there and i know that . But like in any grieving process you have to grieve... You have to feel it and let it be . cry as much as you can , listen to melancholy song , or stay in bed all day and eat pizza and ice cream . do your own thing and dont rush it .it may take weeks or months but it will end up at some point.
- Listen to the voice in you :As a human beings we are precious full of magic and energy . we have what we need inside of us , but we are too busy to have time for our own sake . in every relationship we need time and love and respect from ourselves. we need to listen to what your body and mind and soul try to tell us . If you feel it is wrong even for one second so follow your voice and end it . if you feel like you are trying too much to make it work then my dear you should knock it off .
- Appreciate yourself : the truth of knowing your desires your fears your weakness and even your strength is priceless . The moment you know what you want exactly from a relationship and what you are capable of and what is your redlines . It will make you confident and more comfortable .This will lead to loving your perfections and imperfections.
- No time to regret :Regretting won't take you anywhere . it will pull you down . So just forgive him or her . and most of all forgive yourself for the bad choices you made . we all do mistakes it is human nature . Unlike regret that will make it worst, dont need to blame yourself or anyone. Shit can happen to all peoples .Think of it when you regretting you are losing your energy in useless person , it dont worth it , ah .
- spoil yourself : After every hurtful breakup and after accepting and moving on i always spoil myself , my basic ritual is i celebrate . I take myself for a date , i wear my beautiful outfit . I go to a coffee shop sit alone and write an apology to my dear heart and confessing how much i am proud of it .Then i get back home and dance naked like old women do in the reborn of new baby . A celebration of surviving, after all i am still here .And so are You.
